Truth or Dare
As Christians, no matter what denomination you claim, there are things we don’t like to talk about. Some of that is generational, some of it is experiential, and some of it is incredibly convicting. We all have different approaches to things - even within the church - like worship style, charisma, teaching style, even how we do outreach. And actually, that is an opportunity for collaboration which, unfortunately, not a lot of churches and ministries are leveraging. Our different approaches and skill sets play into the very purpose of our spiritual giftings: to operate as one body that together can do what we cannot alone.
If we bring up the subject of sin, everybody has an opinion. We have opinions about what is or is not sin, whether one thing is worse than another, or even reasons why we can justify certain things we know are wrong. We all do it, and we all do it all of the time. But…we don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like it brought up to us, and we don’t like to admit our own guilt, especially with the little things.
Need an example? I am going to guess that the vast majority of the people reading this exceeded the speed limit this morning on their way to work. I did not note it, but I am absolutely sure I did, at least at one point. Or how about this one - have you ever had someone telling you a story, and when they get to the point where they are quoting someone who says a bad word they ~whisper~ it - as if that makes it ok. We all watch things we shouldn’t, say things we shouldn’t, and live lives that allow sin all over the place. This is our condition as Romans 3 describes the nature of humanity. We are also covered by grace - our salvation - but sometimes, we do have to step out and call a spade a spade.
I am not here to cast guilt for all the things we allow into our lives - that isn’t what this is about. It bears mentioning that we have the responsibility to check ourselves often - we do need to make sure that our walk fits our talk, and that our talk is such that pursues righteousness - because people are watching. However, I am going to address a sin which we all practice, because it has a potential to hurt and divide like few can, especially during a time of transition such as Calvary is experiencing at this moment.
As we will be learning with Pastor Josh on Sunday evenings, Paul speaks in Romans 1 about people he says practice “ungodliness” and “unrighteousness.” Here is part of what he has to say about these in verses 29 through 31: “They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.”
They are gossips. We don’t like to talk about that, because Christians don’t gossip, they share “prayer concerns” right?
Gossip is a sin of the tongue that involves spreading slander, rumors, or secrets about others. Gossip is often uncharitable, inappropriate, and harmful to the reputation of others. The Bible forbids gossip and encourages holy and healthy communication. Gossip most often reveals the gossiper’s insecurities, jealousy, envy, and even hatred. That is the truth of the matter. Even when the subject of gossip is factually accurate, it is, at the very least, not healthy communication; at its worst it is destructive, divisive, and straight evil.
Gossip is inherently flawed because it never tells the whole story - it leaves out all of the intangibles and points of view that make up the reality of any situation. Gossip spreads like disease in the form of rumor - and the more flawed (read: “juicy”) it is, the faster and further it will spread. This is such a threat because the scorched earth left behind by a divisive and false rumor can completely dismantle ministry, unity, and every manner of relationship.
While we have the responsibility to try and not enable the spreading of lies we hear, we are equally responsible for the content of our own speech. Matthew 5:37 makes it clear with the words of Jesus Himself: “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one.”
Two churches have merged. Right now, we are early Brady Bunch - we are one family who is trying to figure each other out. We all brought our own experiences and own expectations into the mix, and we all are going to bump into each other in different ways while we settle together. This is natural - this is expected. There is no you and there is no me in this particular endeavor - there is us.
Right now, we have the uncanny ability to take some of the differences - the bumps - and make them into major issues that they don’t need to be. For those of us in leadership, we are watching for these things and looking for opportunities to foster growth and unity in light of them. This is healthy, strong, biblical laying of foundations for relationships and family maturity and growth. Many of us fear change, and that creates a hyper-sensitive response to anything that appears abnormal or different or uncomfortable, so we strive to grow and change together.
What we do not need is the threat of mudslinging - rumors and gossip that can only have one outcome: division. I can dispel some of those rumors now by stating emphatically that 1. None of your leaders are leaving or stepping down; and 2. None of your leaders are “taking over” and changing everything - there is no power play. If you hear anything that goes against those statements, it is false. The truth of the direction of the church - to the extent that any of us know it - comes from the leadership. If you hear something about what we are doing or how we are doing it, unless it comes from a pastor or an elder, it is not confirmed. Not confirmed = not true, even if it is accurate. If we are to speak truth, to let yes be yes and no be no, then it is on us - all of us - to know the truth before we speak it.
Understand, however, that change is coming. Change is already happening, and we have to embrace it by extending grace to each other and working together. Our church has grown, and growth brings change. You are hearing new teachers along with those you are used to hearing. You are hearing new songs sung along with those you know well and love. You will see ministries form and move in our church along with many of the ministries in which you are already involved. And as these things happen, you will see and hear and do things that will challenge your comfort, sometimes even your preference. This is normal - this is healthy. Our response to these things needs to be in line with who we are and claim to be - reflections of God’s image.
Matt and Josh and Greg and I - along with our board of elders - would love to engage in conversation with you. We are happy to tell you what is true and what is not with respect to how we intend to minister to each other and to the community. Sometimes those plans will change, but all of us in the Calvary body have experienced transparency from leadership every step of the way through this transition, as well as other things that have happened in the life of our church. We dare you to seek out the truth and kill the rumor when you hear it. We dare you to be the one to guard the integrity of your church and your pastors and leaders. And we dare you to consider the excitement of where God might lead us next.
If we bring up the subject of sin, everybody has an opinion. We have opinions about what is or is not sin, whether one thing is worse than another, or even reasons why we can justify certain things we know are wrong. We all do it, and we all do it all of the time. But…we don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like it brought up to us, and we don’t like to admit our own guilt, especially with the little things.
Need an example? I am going to guess that the vast majority of the people reading this exceeded the speed limit this morning on their way to work. I did not note it, but I am absolutely sure I did, at least at one point. Or how about this one - have you ever had someone telling you a story, and when they get to the point where they are quoting someone who says a bad word they ~whisper~ it - as if that makes it ok. We all watch things we shouldn’t, say things we shouldn’t, and live lives that allow sin all over the place. This is our condition as Romans 3 describes the nature of humanity. We are also covered by grace - our salvation - but sometimes, we do have to step out and call a spade a spade.
I am not here to cast guilt for all the things we allow into our lives - that isn’t what this is about. It bears mentioning that we have the responsibility to check ourselves often - we do need to make sure that our walk fits our talk, and that our talk is such that pursues righteousness - because people are watching. However, I am going to address a sin which we all practice, because it has a potential to hurt and divide like few can, especially during a time of transition such as Calvary is experiencing at this moment.
As we will be learning with Pastor Josh on Sunday evenings, Paul speaks in Romans 1 about people he says practice “ungodliness” and “unrighteousness.” Here is part of what he has to say about these in verses 29 through 31: “They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.”
They are gossips. We don’t like to talk about that, because Christians don’t gossip, they share “prayer concerns” right?
Gossip is a sin of the tongue that involves spreading slander, rumors, or secrets about others. Gossip is often uncharitable, inappropriate, and harmful to the reputation of others. The Bible forbids gossip and encourages holy and healthy communication. Gossip most often reveals the gossiper’s insecurities, jealousy, envy, and even hatred. That is the truth of the matter. Even when the subject of gossip is factually accurate, it is, at the very least, not healthy communication; at its worst it is destructive, divisive, and straight evil.
Gossip is inherently flawed because it never tells the whole story - it leaves out all of the intangibles and points of view that make up the reality of any situation. Gossip spreads like disease in the form of rumor - and the more flawed (read: “juicy”) it is, the faster and further it will spread. This is such a threat because the scorched earth left behind by a divisive and false rumor can completely dismantle ministry, unity, and every manner of relationship.
While we have the responsibility to try and not enable the spreading of lies we hear, we are equally responsible for the content of our own speech. Matthew 5:37 makes it clear with the words of Jesus Himself: “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one.”
Two churches have merged. Right now, we are early Brady Bunch - we are one family who is trying to figure each other out. We all brought our own experiences and own expectations into the mix, and we all are going to bump into each other in different ways while we settle together. This is natural - this is expected. There is no you and there is no me in this particular endeavor - there is us.
Right now, we have the uncanny ability to take some of the differences - the bumps - and make them into major issues that they don’t need to be. For those of us in leadership, we are watching for these things and looking for opportunities to foster growth and unity in light of them. This is healthy, strong, biblical laying of foundations for relationships and family maturity and growth. Many of us fear change, and that creates a hyper-sensitive response to anything that appears abnormal or different or uncomfortable, so we strive to grow and change together.
What we do not need is the threat of mudslinging - rumors and gossip that can only have one outcome: division. I can dispel some of those rumors now by stating emphatically that 1. None of your leaders are leaving or stepping down; and 2. None of your leaders are “taking over” and changing everything - there is no power play. If you hear anything that goes against those statements, it is false. The truth of the direction of the church - to the extent that any of us know it - comes from the leadership. If you hear something about what we are doing or how we are doing it, unless it comes from a pastor or an elder, it is not confirmed. Not confirmed = not true, even if it is accurate. If we are to speak truth, to let yes be yes and no be no, then it is on us - all of us - to know the truth before we speak it.
Understand, however, that change is coming. Change is already happening, and we have to embrace it by extending grace to each other and working together. Our church has grown, and growth brings change. You are hearing new teachers along with those you are used to hearing. You are hearing new songs sung along with those you know well and love. You will see ministries form and move in our church along with many of the ministries in which you are already involved. And as these things happen, you will see and hear and do things that will challenge your comfort, sometimes even your preference. This is normal - this is healthy. Our response to these things needs to be in line with who we are and claim to be - reflections of God’s image.
Matt and Josh and Greg and I - along with our board of elders - would love to engage in conversation with you. We are happy to tell you what is true and what is not with respect to how we intend to minister to each other and to the community. Sometimes those plans will change, but all of us in the Calvary body have experienced transparency from leadership every step of the way through this transition, as well as other things that have happened in the life of our church. We dare you to seek out the truth and kill the rumor when you hear it. We dare you to be the one to guard the integrity of your church and your pastors and leaders. And we dare you to consider the excitement of where God might lead us next.
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I am hearing good things about what is happening at Calvary Baptist Church IN Milford. Loving it.